Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I can't put those talents on a resume
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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