I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
