Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
