That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
His nipple licking is glorious
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