You just made me feel so damn special
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
