Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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