Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MIDGETS
????
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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