Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
