it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
