strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Randomize
