Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
you didnt know i had herpes?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
