HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize