Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize