At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize