he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
