I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
