uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Just cropdusted the office
Its about making memories worth repressing
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
