Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen" http://tfl.nu/kas3
  Replies (20) Good night (8440) Bad night (858)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen http://tfl.nu/n18y
  Replies (34) Good night (6997) Bad night (1589)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation. http://tfl.nu/9spz
  Replies (14) Good night (9636) Bad night (852)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased. http://tfl.nu/r0ay
  Replies (14) Good night (1054) Bad night (4172)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin http://tfl.nu/q7yy
  Replies (2) Good night (2942) Bad night (811)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:) http://tfl.nu/uwez
  Replies (7) Good night (2081) Bad night (949)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I woke up with glitter in my wounds.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (778): I woke up with glitter in my wounds. http://tfl.nu/r4io
  Replies (11) Good night (2302) Bad night (1202)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified. http://tfl.nu/iywq
  Replies (12) Good night (1148) Bad night (2144)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable. http://tfl.nu/22ca
  Replies (21) Good night (4252) Bad night (1296)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind. http://tfl.nu/4evb
  Replies (9) Good night (1294) Bad night (872)
• Favorite

  (+33): View more from France

  So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+33): So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts? http://tfl.nu/237o
  Replies (14) Good night (3252) Bad night (631)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible. http://tfl.nu/fwco
  Replies (4) Good night (1069) Bad night (1580)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  i'll probably be on drugs forewarning

  (503): View more from Oregon

  forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): i'll probably be on drugs forewarning (503): forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you http://tfl.nu/wpmw
  Replies (1) Good night (1353) Bad night (558)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though. http://tfl.nu/j5bh
  Replies (2) Good night (315) Bad night (703)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job. http://tfl.nu/3704
  Replies (4) Good night (935) Bad night (657)

Randomize