Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
