I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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