I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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