is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
someone owes me an orgasm
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
