Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
