I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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