they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
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He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
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National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize