Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize