the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
