I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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