Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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