Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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