i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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