the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
