dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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