So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
