addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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