i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
organizing the empties. That sober.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
