yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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