I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
