The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
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If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
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I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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