Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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