porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
