Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
