Already got asked if we're dating
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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