i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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