I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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