so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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