I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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