Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
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