Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
