States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
