you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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