Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
