I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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