i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
