Im at strip club and am horny
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
