I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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