i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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