In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Randomize
