id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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