from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
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While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
My ATM looks so different sober.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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