What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
She announced her abortion via fbk
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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